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Wednesday, June 02, 2004

Home studying day, a little quarrel & visiting Lenore...

Somehow my body seems to be programmed to sleep at 3am and get up at 12.30pm each day. Today I was feeling exceptionally tired and my body was aching too. Yap, no doubts it was that time of the month again. Wasn't in good mood the whole day and still had to force myself to study. Shit I hate this time of the month cause my sometimes I don't feel like eating at all and at times I feel like eating alot. And this time round it was the second one! Probably put on a few pounds with the lunch and ice-cream so could't help but fell alseep at my desk...

It wasn't untill 4.30pm plus that I woke up to continue my studying. My thought as usual slowly strayed from my notes to what Ph and I were talking about last night. All the while I thought that he wanted to go back to s'pore to work and settle back down there. But his wish when he first came here was to try to get PR to work and settle in aussie land with his special someone. Sounded romantic, which was exactly what I had in mind too. But due to the many reasons he has, he couldn't do that. I couldn't help but thought of some ways to persuade him to stay on. It just really wasn't fair for the two of us to be seperated so soon, it was like such a pity... However nothing could change his plan cause his mind was already set.. Well, no use being sad or getting angry with him, some things are just meant to be I supposed...

Anyway, I was going mad staying in the house the whole day and someone called asking me to go over to get some fresh air. Seeing that I was sad, he comforted me a little. It didn't really help much because the fact was that he's still leaving no matter what. But it did feel better. I went over to find Lenore for a chat and told her some of my feelings. She had her own problems which I can't really help her much too. These kind of "matters of the heart" stuff is really frustrating at times. However we both told each other to "follow our hearts" and not to make sacrifices for any guy because It's just not worth it. And so I decided to stick with my initial decision to continue my Honours at the end of the year if it financially allows me to...

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